The past few days have been rough ones. My headache has been worse, so I’ve spent a lot of time in bed. As I lay there this morning, I was thinking back to when my illness began. I was in bed for the better part of every day last summer. Remembering the progress I’ve made helped me put what I’m going through now in perspective. Yes, I’ve had some bad days lately, but nothing like what I had before. Now that I’m feeling so much better, I have a tendancy to over use my eyes and this is what usually lands me in trouble. Too much time on the computer or reading or quilting and I pay for it for several days. When I don’t feel well, I tend to focus on the pain rather than the reason it has gotten worse.
Some days I find myself focusing more on my illness than I do all the blessings that have come my way in the last nine months. And there have been more blessings than I could ever name or count. The fact that we lost half of our household income seemed frightening in the beginning…then to lose another twenty percent in the fall seemed almost cruel. But, because we were prepared and had long since turned our finances over to God, all is well. In fact, other than not being able to build back up our emergency fund, we’ve managed to stay ahead on paying our bills. It was staggering to realize how much money was still slipping through our fingers unnoticed and very humbling to realize that no matter what our income is, God is still in control. After all, it’s his money and we are just stewards of it.
Another blessing has been the time that Jim and I spend together. Since he has been laid off on Mondays and Tuesdays, it has given us time to do things we normally would have to squeeze in on the weekend. Several times, we have gone to his parents’ house in Mt. Carmel, Illinois, for the day. Last week, Jim and his friend Dave worked outside on one of our trees. After they were finished, we all had lunch together. Dave’s wife, Marta, even joined us and she and I had a chance to talk and catch up. Jim also uses some of this time off to help others who are unable to afford to hire someone to help them. It’s a good reminder to me that no matter what our circumstances are, there is always someone who could use whatever we have to give.
I try not to complain, but I know that there are days I fail. I thank God for gentle reminders that put everything in perspective. I thank him for the people he has put into our lives that minister to us and those that we can minister to. I thank him that although my headache is worse today, I know it will get better and I pray for those who suffer daily and can not find relief. I thank him for the strength he gives me daily and how he raises my spirit with his presence. I thank God for my family and their health and pray for those who have family members who are ill. I praise him for bringing Derek home safely from Iraq and I pray for all of our men and women who serve everyday, both at home and overseas. I ask for a extra hand of protection for them and their families. I thank God that we live in a country where we are free to worship as we want and pray for those who are persecuted around the world. I thank him for a warm house and food to eat and pray for those who are homeless and hungry. I pray that God will continue to lead Jim and I as we search for answers. Thank you for always providing all that we need.