I will not be moved…

I have to admit, I’ve been kinda down since my recent trip to Indy. I met with the doctors, completed the tests that they requested…and I wait. I was told on Thursday that I would have some treatment options by that evening….and I wait.

I know better than to get my hope built up but, being the fallible human that I am, I did it anyway. But a part of me still thinks that those letters behind a person’s name means they have all the answers. That if it hurts, they can heal it. If its broken, they can fix it. If I’m off key, they can…well, let’s not go crazy here.

I think the biggest disappointment comes not in the fact that they don’t have answers for me…but that when they say they will do contact me and they don’t. It makes me feel unimportant, easily forgotten. It sends me back to a place and time that I actually believed that about myself…and I don’t like it.

But maybe, just maybe, there is a reason I’m remembering that feeling. Maybe, in the coming days or weeks, God is going to use that memory to help him reach someone through me.

I believe that in everything, God can do a mighty work. Through my pain, disappointment, rejection, God is ready to work through my emotions, if I allow him. But in order to do so, I must return my focus to him. To stop my pity party and say, “Ok God, that was unpleasant, where do I go from here?”

I think this season of Lent is going to be one conscience act after another of keeping my focus on God. Of waiting for him to reveal himself in most unusual ways. Of God calling and, hopefully, of me listening and responding.

Lord, I thank you that while my physical and emotional state may waiver, that my spirit stands firm. That I have my feet firmly planted on Christ as my foundation and that although I may falter, I will not be moved.

I will not be moved by Natalie Grant

I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They’re bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won’t let me go
And is the reason why…

[Chorus:]
I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It’s grace I’m standing on

[Chorus]

And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I’ve worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved