I stand amazed…

Baby I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time…
~~Paul McCartney

It’s four a.m. It’s the second Saturday in November. Outside, I can hear the neighbors getting in their truck and leaving. I’m up…they’re up…but Jim isn’t.

To most people, this has little significance. But if you know Jim  you know that his still being in bed on this day, at this time, is significant.

Today is opening day of gun season in Indiana.

Today is the first time in more years than I can remember that Jim hasn’t risen before the sun, taken two bananas, brown-sugar and cinnamon Pop-tarts and a thermos of coffee (courtesy of yours truly) and headed to the woods.

But the fact that I’m up is a pretty good indication of why he isn’t. About a month ago, I started having pain in my right lower abdomen. Since then, it has steady increased and at times, makes it near impossible to stand upright or even walk. To say that I have not been a happy camper is an understatement.

I tell you this only to make this point: Jim never ceases to amaze me. His selflessness when it comes to giving up and giving of himself during my illness has been such an inspiration to me. He never gets angry or frustrated with me. When I look at him, I always see concern and caring.

I am so blessed!

You see, to Jim, hunting isn’t about hunting. It’s about spending time in the woods, listening to the owls as they come in and settle down after a long night’s hunt. It’s about breathing in the cool, crisp air, knowing that in a few short weeks it may be too cold to spend hours outside. It’s about being alone with your thoughts and your God and listening to him in a way and a place that’s like none other.

It’s about renewal and self-examination. Hunting is like an after thought. Jim once said about fishing and I think the same would apply here, “Some days, the fish just interrupt a good day in the boat.” I know he is perfectly happy to come home with an empty truck bed, having spent the day watching a coyote run on a hill side or a doe with her young.

All this may seem like a little thing. To me, it speaks volumes. I once heard a speaker say that marriage wasn’t a 50/50 arrangement. If you each give only 50%, you are left standing nose to nose. When I have less I can give, Jim steps forward to compensate. I try to do likewise. It isn’t always easy, but the rewards are well worth the effort.

Thank you, Jim, for never making me feel like I am less. You always make me feel needed and appreciated. Thank you for your unending love. You are my rock!

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.  ~~I Corinthians 13:4-7, 13

It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters.  ~~Mother Theresa

Thank you God for Jim…for his selfless nature, for his love and care of me. Thank you for his example of generosity and patience. Thank you for the blessing that he is in my life and others.